One of the more popular and memorable additions over the years have been the Bus Shelter Hamsters. But they still achieved a lot before being a part of the Bus Shelter setup:

The Hamsters (originally called Liesje and Pepijn) were raised in Holland by a sect of Guaranga monks. They were content with their existence, drinking holy water and chanting a lot, until their lives were torn apart. A wrecking ball was demolishing a nearby building in (h)Amsterdam when it disconnected from its chain and headed straight for the room where Liesje and Pepijn were sleeping. By an amazing stroke of luck, the ball demolished the entire monastery, killing all the 23 monks but sparing our heroic hamsters. After a mammoth struggle to prise open the bars and fight for their survival, they were off, starting a new life amongst the busy Dutch streets.

Pepijn had the hardest time of it, his mental state had never been perfect but now he had started hallucinating and befriended a giant imaginary rabbit named Dave. Dave coaxed Pepijn into a life of crime and destruction, Pepijn soon convinced his life long companion Liesje to join him in his quest. The two outlaws began gnawing through every toilet roll (empty or full) they could find, as well as seeking out the most expensive looking boutiques in (h)Amsterdam and chewing holes through various items of clothing there. Luckily, that just added to the value as a savvy young boutique owner by the name of Radboud added 200 Euros and called them ‘designer’. Radboud worked out what was going on and set traps to catch the rampant rodents to increase his fortune. One fateful night the Prada-skirt-trap was layed and sure enough, enticed the possessed duo to set about their work. Radboud dropped the cage and once again, the two were trapped. They were set to work gnawing enough off the clothes to make them look plausibly designer and then handed the next one. It was a sweat shop with bad conditions and no pay. Radboud could not understand that it wasn’t the clothes they desired, it was the anarchy. He kept the now under-strength hamsters working because he thought they liked it, he didn’t expect them to strike. The infamous hunger strike nearly put Radboud out of business. His clothes had been selling like hot clogs and when there were no more, people decided to raid the storeroom to see if he was holding any of them back. There they found 2 scrawny hamsters, cramped in a small cage with a fake Gucci tank-top and a tiny placard demanding a 40-hour-week.

The mob liberated our heroes and Radboud’s reputation was ruined. The leader of the liberation party was a burly Rotterdam man by the name of Sjaak. He removed the cage and set them free once again. Pepijn’s time in captivity had helped reduce the agoraphobia-induced madness and the name Dave meant nothing to him anymore. He thanked Sjaak and wandered down the cobble-stoned road side by side with Liesje as free and happy hamsters. Just then, a police dog bounded up and caught both of them in his slobbering mouth. This highly trained sniffer dog had been out of work for months after repeated complaints of him disturbing customers in coffee shops. Needless to say, Koenraad the sniffer dog was not the brightest hammer in the quiver. But he thought he was back on line now, he had got the scent from the toilet-roll factory, ‘2 rodent hooligans causing chaos’ was the brief. He had found them and he would get a biscuit.

Pepijn and Liesje were hauled before the judge and charged with the crimes of criminal damage, accomplices to serious fashion fraud and being responsible for furthering the terrible pun of hamsters in Amsterdam. They pleaded their innocence but very few people heard anything. They were sentenced to exile. The ceremonial departure of the 2 convicted criminals was conducted soon after. They were put in a waterproof ball with enough food to last them a few weeks and thrown off the highest cliff in Holland, otherwise known as a pier. The 2 companions knew that with the food and oxygen available, they couldn’t last more than a month at sea. What they didn’t know was that the prevailing tide at the time was sending them almost due north.

3 weeks later, after dodging killer whales and fishing nets, a small hamster ball containing 2 half-dead hamsters was thrown onto the rocks of an unknown island, where it smashed, freeing the 2 rodent captives. They stumbled through the foreign, hilly land among huge wooly beasts in search of food and shelter. Eventually they came upon a small red construction, decked in furniture and appliances. They mustered up the last piece of Dutch courage they had and made a jump for the table. Their ragged claws pulled them up gradually and eventually they made it to the top. Tired, hungry and agoraphobic, our heroic hamsters clung together, preparing for their death as companions. Just as Pepijn was about to close his eyes he saw the outline of a man carrying what looked like 8 used hamster cages, wandering along the road. As he tried to focus he saw that, sure enough, 8 of the finest hamster cages that could be bought at the Orkney Folk Festival were now approaching them at a steady pace. Just as the mystery man passed the Bus Shelter, he placed one in. He added a bowl of water, some nuts and grain and saw dust. There also seemed to be a toilet roll tube. Pepijn thought he was hallucinating again but there was no sign of Dave anywhere. He sat up. He woke Liesje who was now unable to walk and carried her to the cage. Their dreams had come true, they had found a home. A home with a view, a home with food, a TV and a CD player. Pepijn couldn’t remember a time when he was this happy. He would stay here for the rest of his days.

So there you go, that is the strange but true story of how the Bus Shelter hamsters came to be. Since that time they have been in various guises. Regailed in pearls and velvet for the Jubilee, extending a tail for the Underwater theme (how else would they swim?), looking a little more like a vicious animal for Africa and donning helmets to be the first hamsters in space in 2006. And then yellow. Just yellow.

The hamsters are an integral part of the Bus Shelter setup and I don’t know what we would do without them. They have since adopted the much easier names of Phil and Lizzie since the Jubilee and seem to have settled in well to their tourist entertainment role. They do love the limelight.

Here’s to you Phil and Lizzie, Pepijn and Liesje, for all you have taught us.